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Fire

I just listened to a podcast of Manic Mommies about family first entrepreneurs.  Something that the guest speaker said really hit home with me.  He said that there are three steps to successful entreprenuering: ready, aim and fire.  Many people get stuck in the aim phase and just keep aiming and aiming and aiming…You get the idea.  Anyway, I heard this and realized that he was talking about me.  That is exactly my life.  I say I want to be a writer, but do I write?  Not really.  I keep waiting for my masterpiece to appear without working at it.  I say I want to be a painter, but I rarely paint.  I dream about opening a coffee shop or a bookstore, but I never move forward with these dreams.  I talk about making my own cheese, but I’ve never even purchased a piece of cheesecloth.  I know I’m a little bit ridiculous, but I also feel like I was broadcast the same message on a recent episode of Ugly Betty.  The rich guy, Matt, kept choosing a new profession whenever he felt his initial passion for it dying down.  I’m the girl with three quarters of a Masters degree.  I feel like G-d is using the media to tell me that it’s time to get a move on.  I’ll be twenty seven years old at the end of the month,  I have a son.  Now it’s time to get a little direction.

It’s not about the inspiration to achieve greatness.  It’s about the drive to follow things through.  If I were only good at one thing, it might be easier to decide what to do with myself.   There are so many things that I enjoy doing that I find it hard to limit myself to one real passion, and yet it is difficult to accomplish anything while doing a little bit of everything.  When I was little I was told that I could be anything when I grew up.  But what I didn’t understand was that, for most people, you can only be one of those people.  If you’re lucky you might have two successful careers.  So all these years I have been aiming for various things, but I’ve never really launched myself into a full fledged professional life.  I’ve just been waiting for it to happen.  If I keep on this path, I’m going to end up doing administrative tasks for all of my professional life.  I think this is part of why I decided to become a stay at home mom right now.  I didn’t feel that my job was important enough to warrant leaving my child in daycare despite the fact that I was our sole source of income prior to birthing the baby.

In light of all this, here is my public resolution to begin writing every day.  I think that writing is the sort of career that can blend well with raising a family.  I would like to commit to writing five hundred words per day.  Wish me luck!

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