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Posts Tagged ‘Motherhood’

prunes, almonds, yogurt, a peach, water bottle, cucumber and carrot sticks, 5 diapers (it’s far away), wipes, recieving blankets (2), changing mat, change of clothing for the little one, little hat, sunscreen, money, sunglasses, medical records (I have another stop on my way home that these are for), cell phone, keys, blanket for the floor, rattle, plastic spoon, napkins, pencil, notebook…what am I missing?

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Today I’m going to interview for a job that I’m not really interested in getting.  I’ve been ambivalent about whether to actually show up for the interview or not, but I’ve decided to go.  The reason I’m going is actually because I’m not interested in going.  I think it will be good for me to get out there and have an interview.

I haven’t worked since my son, now almost five months old, was born.  I was supposed to go back to my job after three months of maternity leave, but I couldn’t bear to leave him with a babysitter all day.  So I became a stay at home mom.  I’ve really always wanted to be a stay at home mom, but I feel guilty not working in today’s dual income based society.  As I said to my mother, “I hate the feminists!!! Why did they do this to me?  I could’ve raised my kids in peace, and now I’m expected to be superwoman.”  I don’t understand how most women manage to do it all.  I feel like my life is very full without going to work every day.

The job that I’m interviewing for will not require me to put my son in daycare.  Which is nice.  But it will require me to work in the evenings and be on call 24/7.  And I’m told the employer has “difficulty” paying on time.  Growing up, we were always told that beggars can’t be choosers.  But I don’t feel like a beggar.   I’m silly like that.  I’m not sure why I feel like the lessons I learn should never apply to me.  I guess I’m spoiled.  My husband tries to explain to me why, practically speaking, I need to work.  And I understand him.  But it still doesn’t really hit home for me.  I guess until we really run out of money, it won’t seem real to me.

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TzurTzur and Me

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Hi!  This is a picture of me with my son when he was only a few weeks old.  He’s much bigger and cuter now!

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